a l i v e & a w a k e

Egocentricity is a terrible thing. It blinds you from seeing others... period. At 20, I was very egocentric and it took a very upsetting situation to break me out of this warped perspective.

Michelle Peplinski had everything going for her. She was a beautiful, intelligent, athletic, fun, caring individual who was popular and heading towards a promising future in law. She was also very musical and could really sing. We had become good friends at a camp in which we were both counsellors. She was the kind of person that was enjoyable to be around.

It was an invite to sing at a youth group Christmas party that convinced her and her younger sister to leave their home in Richmond Hill and drive to Bancroft. Unfortunately the weather was brewing up a nasty winter storm. As they headed north of Bancroft to the camp, she lost control of the car, veered into the middle of the road, and was crushed by a log truck that ultimately plowed her back into a forested area along the road.

Michelle was killed instantly. Her sister miraculously survived with only a few scratches.

When we heard the news, it was like someone had taken a sledgehammer to my knees. I had never experienced the death of a friend, and it paralysed my senses. In the days to come, including the funeral, my mind was trying to grasp the reality of the situation, and not finding a way to understand it all. If you've lost someone close, you know what I'm talking about. There are always more unanswerable questions than answers. Death doesn't leave a lot of positives in its trail.

Except one. It quickly rearranges your priorities; you begin to see what's really important in life. As one person has said, "tragedy reminds us to stay awake to reality". My reality had been my own self-devleopment, garnished with regular dashes of friends. People were there to help serve my personal agenda; to aid me in my quest for importance and significance. But now, after Michelle's death, I began to see people, not just as parts of my world, but as the most important thing in life. I started to place high value on family and friends. In turn I found that relationships improved as I invested my "best" time, rather than giving some of my free leftover time.

My encouragement to you is to hear what I'm saying and learn this important perspective before you are taught it through a hard life-lesson. Success, fame, money, power, personal development, are not in themselves bad things. But to the person who find a new (or renewed) perspective and is able to see the importance of relationships, you will find the things that really matter; things like friendship, companionship, accountability and best of all - love.

Jon