a l i v e & a w a k e

Just watched The Incredibles again (I know, I know - it's an old movie now). But it is a movie that has a "now" message.

Bob is a man dealing with a lot of issues. As a retired superhero (Mr. Incredible), he has to deal with simply trying to live life as a married man with kids. His wife, Helen, is also a former superhero (Elasta-girl) and they have 3 very "super" kids who all have their own issues. He works in a dead-end job under a supervisor who has less than ideal standards. Although he works hard and tries to make it all work, he finds himself trapped in a life that is unfulfilling. Often, he sneaks out of the house with a fellow "super" under the cover of "bowling night" to listen in on police reports with the hopes of being able to participate in just one more covert operation. Eventually, he is "recruited" by an organization to help them deal with a "problem. The promise of adventure and action is too much, and so Bob (unbeknownst to his wife) begins to live a double life to fit it all in.

Like Bob, a lot of guys are out there feeling "trapped" in a lifestyle that doesn't match their glory days. It seems men rely on competence as an indicator of self-worth. When you can't do what you used to, you either try to find something else to replace it, or something else to hide your inability. And when you can't do either, you have what some people call "mid-life crisis". This time of warped perspectives is usually characterized by compulsive spending sprees, adulterous affairs, job changes, unwarrented travelling and absorbsion in personal hobbies. It can also mean withdrawn tendencies from the family, a lack of intimacy from family members (especially your wife) and many, many secrets. It is a dangerous way of thinking.

Watching Bob being lured back into his supersuit by the promise of "action" and its intrinsic significance reminds me to make sure I keep my priorities straight. Regardless of how much I have left behind to my younger years (and at times it seems like quite a bit), I have made choices of who I married (for which I am happy) and what I am currently doing (what I love). And to those choices, I must be responsible.

Bob spends the mid-portion of the movie lying to his wife and children about what he's really doing, and it is only because Helen visits a mutual friend that she finds out his escapades (and consequently has to help bail him out). That is so typical of so many families - it's when the "head of the home" becomes the heel that things get turned upside down, and break down. I wonder how many married women have taken on the role as a single parent because men are out "finding themsleves".

It is near the end where Bob finally realizes the enormous value of his family (only after he thinks their all dead), and is quoted as saying, "I guess I forgot that you (the family) were my greatest adventure". In typical Hollywood style, the family once rejoined becomes a crime-fighting, burglar-busting force of justice, ready to take on all the evils of the world.

The Incredibles is a fun movie - I highly recommend it. I particularly enjoyed the inside look into family, and the message it has for all of us who need a reminder from time to time of what is important in life - and what should stay that way.

Jon