a l i v e & a w a k e

The more and more I am in a role of responsibility and overseeing the development of community, the more and more I believe we need to have a greater allowance of failure. This is not just a message for me because I may screw up and make the wrong choice, but because I need to allow others the same with patience.

Usually failure is a term we use to describe an attempt or effort to try something and there is not the desired end result (I believe there is another type of failure that is describing someone who doesn’t even try—but I’m not including this definition).  As humans, we see the end goal, completion of a task, or a perfect execution as the most important thing. The problem is we are human. It is rare to see an atmosphere of change, and pioneering paired with no failure.  Failure is an indication of effort and new things. If we don’t see failure, chances are we aren’t growing.

When I was young my uncle George would take me skiing in the states (Stowe Vermont ). There would be a bunch of families that went together and we took over a hotel and skied the week away. It was beautiful scenery and lots of fun to be with my friends. I also do remember ‘failing’ at skiing a lot. I would sit at night with bruises and stiffness and think to myself “I suck at skiing”. Someone told me on the hill in the middle of the week that old familiar saying “No pain, No gain”. Which they explained as “if you aren't trying new things, you won’t fall, but if you ‘play it safe’ than will not have pain or be humiliated---but you won’t learn anything either”.  They also said this right after they laughed at me for having a ‘wipe out’.  What I remembered though was it was ok to fail.

This isn’t a consolation prize for those who mess up a lot, it is a comfort (in my case a great comfort) for those who are attempting to do new things and view life as a chance to grow. There are many reasons why we look down on people who fail; judgment, prejudice, jealousy/envy, insecurity, consumer mentality, etc. These reasons are mostly against pioneering and change for the better. So my question is; How do we set up atmospheres that allow and embrace this type of failure?

 If failure, is a result of someone taking a risk, than we can immediately celebrate and affirm the innovation and desire to grow and improve. If people are built like me, they know when they fail and find themselves feeling not too pleased with the result. I usually find my greatest temptation to wallow in my screw up for a time. If someone comes along to emphasize this, it has potential to paralyze me from trying again. 

If we celebrate the effort, we can move people on to another attempt or onto the successful result. If failure happens we can also be the first to offer to help. We may not be able to do it for someone (in fact we may harm more by taking over) but we can partner with.  In partnership we position our self as cultivators of the person and the idea.

Over time if we continue to celebrate pioneers and find ways to partner, we will benefit from the initiatives that others will lead us in and we set an atmosphere that will be equally supportive of us if we fail. Biblically we see this practice in verses like ‘forgive one another’ –Eph 4:32, bear one another’s burdens-Gal 6:2.

These relational practices of forgiveness and partnering will at first feel awkward.  It takes courage to partner with those who are experiencing failure. It is in essence partnering with people who look like ‘aliens’ to others. It’s partnering with those who ‘fall off the wagon’ or are bankrupt, or who are on ‘leave’, or in jail, or the biggest headliners in the news.  There is a unique opportunity in the midst of failure. It is to partner with brokenness, new things, deeper relationships, growth.  Our society seems to highlight the failures of others in such a way that communicates “Don’t you be like this person who failed!” and “Let’s all join together to point and judge those who are screw ups”. 

I’m convinced the generation that will make significant changes and join God in what He is doing and may look by human standards as ‘failures’ but they will be like people who we admire ---Nelson Mandella,  Bono, The apostles Peter and Paul, etc. and those types of people like inventors, developers---cultivators. All have failed and will continue to fail. It is a cheap gift to see what is wrong, but the highly trained skill of pioneering (apostolic) takes patience, a focus on what will be, and they are more concerned with relationships than achievements.

-joe