a l i v e & a w a k e

I have lived in the suburban context now four about 7 years now. It is a very nice atmosphere to live in on the surface. Once I’ve been in one location for a long enough time I realize the veneer is only a covering to a deep subversive disease –separation. The design of the streets, houses and even backyards today show more of a value system for privacy and loneliness compared to 50 years ago which had more of a small town feel to the communities.  Open concept backyards that you can see for quite a distance are now replaced with high fences visually closing off a postage stamp size plot. We pay top dollar if we want a bigger yard for ourselves that can keep out the view of other neighbors but yet keep local to the action of the city.

This has recently been more apparent to me as of late. I have one month experience of being a community developer of the Meeting House (officially called lead pastor).   One day in particular, I went walking handing out cards of a new series coming out on Sundays. At first I was looking forward to getting some exercise, praying for the community and maybe even seeing people who would show up because of this. I haven’t seen results yet but I encountered a much different experience.

I began walking with my dog as a postal worker would to all the different homes in my area. At first I was a bit nervous because I didn’t know what people thought of me as they saw me doing it. Then I got more uncomfortable not because of people but just the overwhelming feeling of not being welcomed by the design of the home. Looking back at that experience, I felt like the locations of mailboxes were such that you almost felt like you were walking into the living room of the home owners and really you shouldn't be there without very good excuse. Now I already have had a hard time with going around doing ‘cold calls’ and depositing paper when most people will not want it. This soon became a sheer exercise of forced work. I felt like my feet were made of lead as soon as I got within the personal space of the front door and they would quickly become light as a feather once I moved towards the end of the driveway. When that happens 250 times (the cards I handed out), you get a real complex. Now I know some of my feelings have a lot to do with my own insecurities, personality and issues. But there was something also that was more than just me.

It is more than just the design of the homes. It is society that has created a milieu of separation. We are glad to be separate. In fact we praise it. The more money you have the more separate you can be. Now I don’t advocate all of us move into communal homes, (tried that and it didn’t work so well). I appreciate some distance, but this is gone to the point of we hardly even talk to our neighbors. Our houses are bought and sold with in two feet of each other but praised for how private they are. This may also be a growing fear and distrust of people in general but I believe the value of separation is the first reason. Too many of us have bought into being separate from each other and will do many things to not have to encounter other humans. I find myself catching myself being distant and proud to not have any one around my suburban castle,,, why it that?

The Movie ‘Crash’ is a great example of these phenomena. The premise of Crash is that we crash into each other just so we can have an interaction with another human because deep down crave it. Most of the time we spend looking away or looking busy with something as we pass people as to say, “I’m really a busy person in my mind or with what I’m doing”. Importance and busyness are good to portray to others. Or deeper down I am saying “don’t talk to me because I am afraid of who you are and if you are going to want something from me”. Or worse “you may need something but I just don’t care and you would really be bothering me to even look my way”. It is initially deceptive because it looks like we were the one who were in a better spot maybe to say hi back, or give joy or assistance but in the long run maybe we lose out from a human contact point. I will even say a Divine moment of some sort.

I will say this again in other write ups but even our best intentions to help others are handouts, cheques and give-aways. It is good to do these things but it lacks human contact points and interactions which is probably the best gift we can give today in this day and age to others and to ourselves. At Christmas we feel drawn to be giving and we give in ways to the ‘less fortunate’ that we will never have any relational withdrawal. If we do relationally give it seems like a lot of effort to muster up for the season and it doesn’t get continued for the year. We feel a sense of satisfaction and a job well done but yet what we lose out on is community. Community is what we need. Community is what we have designed best to give despite the zeros in our bank account. It takes effort and a whole different mentality to combat years of practice and social acceptability.

How can this be changed? What are ways to be in community relationally? I feel in retrospect that my country up bringing has values ingrained in me that could put me at an advantage. I need to start practicing them again. Be a front yard person. Most of our time we hide and ‘free’ ourselves from seeing others in the back yard when we can see more people out front on the street, (if they are not in their back yards). Go frequently and consistently to places where many people go –Tim Hortons, Bars, Malls, etc. Walk someone’s dog (if you don’t have your own). I am amazed by the dog walking culture and how easy it is to strike up conversations or have conversations about the dogs we have. This is not a suggested dating tactic! Say hi to people on the street as you walk. Look them in the eye and be genuine about greeting someone. Say it like you own the street and your job is the designated ‘welcomer’ of that section of sidewalk as you walk. These are a few suggestions and I’m sure there are many more. 

Sadly I lament that this will not change society because of the vast merchandise and social values given today. It will however give certain individuals a chance to be community and we may be surprised by all who will be ‘blessed’ by it.

My Grandfather had Narcolepsy. There are many stories of how our 'Papa' (that's what we called our grandfather), fell asleep at different places or during many acivities. Some of them are quite humerous like when I was a child, papa and I would go out on the snow machine at night for a cold ride. One night in particular I remember we were out and the moon was very bright. He took me around a field zig zagging through the field and all of a sudden he started leaning to one side and we tipped over for no reason and there was snow in our faces and snow suits. I laughed and went to papa and kind of jumped on him as to say "hey you did that on purpose". I now look back realizing that he had fallen asleep driving and I woke him by jumping on him (this wasn't the only time).

My dad would also tell me that when he was a boy, papa would fall asleep at the wheel of their truck and they would head into the ditch. The bouncing truck and jolts would wake him and luckly they could back out of the ditch (although sometimes they had to get help). He would look to my dad and say, "Don't tell your mom." There were also many times he would fall asleep at the dinner table. We laugh now when we talk about those stories. Some of this story is serious and sad because my papa died on the lake fishing when he fell asleep on the water and drowned, we think it was related to the narcolepsy. I was about five when he died and so the encounters with him I can remember are vague and few. Narcolepsy is a disease around today and physically dibilitating in many ways to those who have it. Spiritually I think there is a narcolepsy that is hitting this world and ultimately is much more serious than the physical one.

What is my definition of spiritual narcolepsy? The sudden nodding off of our spiritual receptor at any given moment of the day and without us realizing it. Now there are people who are just plain not awake in the first place, but for those who are awakened this disease still overcomes us unaware. What does this look like? It's a moment that has spiritual value and truth and we appreciate it, but then something, someone, or our own distraction shuts down the reception. It was open and fed by the moment, it gets shut off, and we continue on our way without realizing it has been shut off.

What causes this Spiritual Narcolepsy? Distractions, busyness, and meanial tasks are at an all time high in North America. We hardly have two minutes in our day where it is quiet -a chance to think. TV, radio, comercials of sound wave and advertisements divert our energy from some of the most important things in life. For me I can be talking to my wife and look like I'm listening, but really be watching TV, a magazine rack or a cat that just ran by. I think this behaviour has been trained in us since we were young and now the only things that seem to hold our attention are the stimulous of todays world. Other contributing factors may be the fact we have not set goals for ourselves and found our purpose in life and so we welcome in distractions to help us forget the fact we really don't know ourselves or maybe like ourselves. This is a form of apathetic drifting that hollows out our souls. The world is rich and vibrant, just waiting to shed light--spiritual light, on our souls. How do we undo this problem?

Fortunately this spiritual narcolepsy has a cure unlike the physical narcolepsy (to my knowledge). It is unfornately for most people called -discipline. If you're like me, it is difficult to train a habit or break a habit. It's something like 21 days to form new habits as a natural part of our life. There's an odd statement that I use to form this habit -MAKE IT NATURAL. That becomes a semi mantra I use as I move closer to what I think God is wanting me to be. Being spiritually awake is one of those things that I find I need discipline in. I am no expert whenI talk about this problem (in fact it has been difficult enough for me to enter this segment because of all my distractions!) So what can we do to combat this?

Each will have their own way to deal with this but I believe it begins with celebrating life. If we have eyes to see the amazing and plentiful things that this life has to offer -that God is offering, than we can begin to undo the narcoleptic episodes that hit us. Celebration not only is good for the soul, but it is physically good for the body. I find if I take time to meditate on the amazing work of God in my life and around me my demeanor changes from numb to alive, drowsy to awake.

 Take a quiet moment, breath deeply and take inventory of all that is good, holy, praiseworthy, and begin to cure the spiritual drowsiness.

Jer was adopted.  I had known him from our youth.  He was a year older than me.  We went to youth group together and church. He and I were troublemakers together in Sunday school.  I never saw much of Jer for about 10 years until one cold April night.
He had fallen away from God and was known as a drug dealer and party animal in town. 
 
God loves to show Himself to us in the most unlikely places.  I have learned be ready to listen for God’s voice and count it as credible.  "See the face of Christ" is a phrase I will never forget as Jesus chooses to reveal Himself in very 'unworthy' vessels. Something happened that night that changed the way I did ministry to Bancroft. From that night I believe that many things changed in our town.  I am no longer there, but the ripple effect still continues from God’s continuing work.

 
I was on my walk home to my apartment from Switch Yard.  I had an argument with a friend over evangelism and how it should be done and what shouldn’t happen. I believed that God was telling me to go to the bars and reach the youth that had turned 19, the parents of the youth and build community connections.  The whole thing I knew from my denominational past was that “ministry can’t happen there”.  It was a ‘flee from sin’ mentality.  As soon as I set foot into any bar, I would take my character and the viability of Switch Yard and run it through the dirt in the eyes of the church community.  That could mean a severing of finances. I had asked many people for their opinion and got words of caution.  I had also just visited a church leadership group where they deflated me for the way I had helped start a church (Bridge), for the way I have used 'Satan’s tools' to do God’s work. I was told I wasn’t supposed to do this work in ministry because I am single and not commended in their eyes.  That night in Switch Yard for me was defeating because it was now my own friend who was criticizing my burden and theology.  He told me I would cause others to stumble. I left very frustrated and angry at why I wasn’t being affirmed.  Thats when I met Jer on the bridge in town.
 
He was drunk and stoned out of his mind and visibly depressed.  I approached and he saw me and said “ Joe!  The good Lord, our Father sent you here tonight” (I thought he was being sarcastic). He wasn’t. He had been on the bridge for about a half an hour and contemplating suicide. The girl he loved was at this moment having sex with another guy and Jer didn’t know what to do with himself.  His conversation was all over the place and he seemed most infatuated with the lights that seemed to dance around and make his head spin. I was feeling very sorry for him and wished I could have wise soothing words to help him from his anxiety. 
 
He stopped his pity party and asked how the drop-in was going. I lied and told him things were good.  Jer turned and directly faced me and said in the most sober voice I had heard all night “ Joe, God wants you to know that what you are doing is good, but He wants you to get outside of those walls and help others in the community. Help the people who were at the party I just came from. The homes that these families live, the bars, the streets.”
Jer went back to talking about the lights and how they were so freaky and changing colors.
I just stood there with my mind doing flips.  I couldn’t believe what he had just said. 
Jer/God wasn’t done, “Joe you know I see you biking through town and people look up to you, but you always seem to have a ‘too good for you’ barrier around you that keeps everything comfortable for you. That is not what God wants”.  
His attention went back to the lights.
 
I was floored.  In my head as I walked home I kept asking “God was that you?”
 
I soon started the bar ministry.  I also went in to homes and took church leaders and volunteers on street walks.  In the bars I learned so much about what the church needed to be.  Such community, such welcoming arms from such hurting people.  I learned that this was the place I held Christ’s hand the tightest and learned much about the town and parents of the youth.  In the bars I met the very helpful and giving people.  Some of them became the ones who cook for the Switch Yard fund raiser every year and helps raise thousands of dollars for the ministry. They also became an instrument in helping our Switch Yard /Christmas dinner become a community Christmas dinner in which thousands are fed.  In the bars God led me to teacher who began a serious relationship with Jesus. In the bars I was able to build many relationships that still continue to today when I go back to Bancroft. 
 
I am someday going to write a book that is titled “Every thing the church needs to learn about reaching a community comes from the bar” .
This all happen because God took one drunk, stoned, suicidal, Jer and gave me the confirming word to GO! (Matt 28:19-20)
Thank you God.   

-Life Stories, 1999, -joe