a l i v e & a w a k e

Just reflecting on an interesting experience I had. Our community (the Meeting House), went down town Toronto to serve at the Pride Day and cleanup activities. This is mostly a celebration of sexuality and specifically (from my take the Homosexual community) through music, speaker’s corners and a parade.

I have lots to debrief from all that I saw and encountered.  Big question that I look to ask each time I go into experiences like this “Is Jesus here and working?” or “Is the Kingdom here?” My answer for the gay parade—you bet.

I had many moments where I caught myself feeling judgmental, prejudiced or uncomfortable, -but that is only MY problem.  I feel afterwards that my feelings have been tapped to a deep and profound range of sad, burdened and overwhelmed, to happy, celebratory and joy. Those are all great emotions but when they happen in the span of 7 hours, you feel you need to hide for a while just to process.

Probably the most profound picture of the whole parade is a couple (both in their 60’s or more, you can never tell if the age is physical or experiential). They were fully naked (except necklaces and shoes). You could also see that the man had noticeable alterations to his genital area.( I have no other comment to make here except to leave that to your imagination). He also had an arm missing. They were not attractive by any means by the standards that this parade seem to project. There were so many people who had gone through a lot of body painting, make up, flashy clothes to make themselves desirable to everyone who saw them. Some even screamed out loud and flaunted themselves to be the most looked at. There were many businesses there with all their marketing schemes and attractive sales people dressed to fit in to the parade of sexuality. These two didn’t fit that standard.

From what I could see they never talked to anyone the whole time. They just walked up and down the Church street strip (great street name to do the parade on?). Many looked at them, pointed, laughed and even took pictures of the two naked and just seemed to judge from afar.

They seem to be a couple who were very comfortable with each other, not awkward or needing to prove anything to each other. Actually they had a look of confidence, not awkward or needing to prove anything to the million or so people who saw them that day. They were authentic. They were the picture of what was a deep unseen river of the whole event –raw humanity. I found looking through surface of the drunken faces, the smiling , loud boisterousness, the dancing and loud music were hurting, lonely people who want to belong, who want to be adored and accepted. This couple didn’t hide their agenda.

For me I found my own raw humanity being accessed. I am the lonely person, needing to be adored and accepted. I am more like the crowd and the business trying to keep an exterior that is acceptable and ‘attractive’. I would never walk around any part of my house physically naked let alone four city blocks for seven hours. ( there would need to be millions of dollars promised and blindfolds for that event). In the same way I have a real hard time walking around spiritually or emotionally naked with God or with others.

My lesson

First that God always sees us as that naked couple, unadorned and authentic. No matter what I try to do to hide, ignore or ‘candy coat’. That couple (especially the man) regardless of the point they were trying to make at a gay parade, were used of Jesus to speak to me of the need to be authentic and comfortable with Him. It is how we were originally made to be with God and then something went wrong. We fell and ended up naked and ashamed and we’ve been hiding ever since.

Even though at face value, this naked couple looked in the wrong for walking naked and proud, they actually were a reminder to me of how right they are. This is how we were originally built to be in a -human to God and -human to human relationship. That challenges me. It also makes me feel I could celebrate and feel deep joy about how God has pleasure in who I am even though my failings and flaws are many.

I wish I could have gone back to that time, and had the courage to walk up to them and thank them for this picture and their example (regardless if they knew what I meant or not). To let them know that in the midst of the whole day and all the disturbing events and good events, they were the living gospel to me. I wanted to thank this very human form of Jesus walking the streets of Toronto (incarnation). Jesus was working in me through this Pride day.

-joe