a l i v e & a w a k e

I tumbled down the stairs with Bruce in one hand and Steve in the other. That night in the drop-in began for me with a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was going to happen. I had been conditioned to sense potentially bad situations. That night, I wasn’t able to concentrate on a single conversation because of this gut feeling.

It was always a stressful moment for me if I sensed something bad was going to happen, since there wasn’t any other staff or volunteers there to help me. Switch Yard was the name of the drop-in in Bancroft. It was only a few years old and really needed in town for youth. I was alone most of the time in my four years of work there. It was God alone (and the prayers of many) that something worse didn’t happen.

Well my gut feeling came to fruition. A fight broke out. It seemed as though more youth were drunk that Friday night. I never knew which youth were ‘happy’ drunks or if they would cause problems when intoxicated. Bruce and Steve seemed to be the ones who would cause trouble when drunk alone. They ran into each other at the entrance of the Switch Yard and their verbal exchanges quickly jumped into physical ones without any warning. I think it was Bruce that instigated things from what I could tell and from hearing the stories afterwards.

Bruce tended to be an instigator. Well at least when he was on something. I don’t think I ever met him in any other circumstance (occupational hazard). He had broken into the drop-in through a window and stole a box of chocolate bars (got caught for that). He had thrown stones at our lights and in general had to be watched constantly at the drop-in. What he seemed to think was a good time was a bit of a nightmare to me. I had heard about him being in different fights around town. I’m pretty sure his home life wasn’t the best and I seem to remember a kid telling me one time his dad was really abusive to him. It showed. Especially this particular night at the drop-in.

I was on the other side of the drop-in and in a ‘conversation’ when I looked up to see and hear obscenities and fists flying. I ran through the people with such momentum that by the time I got to Bruce and Steve, we all went tumbling out the door and down the short flight of stairs onto the deck of Switch Yard. We landed in the gravel near a car with a bumps and scrapes.

By the time we landed in the gravel I managed to pull back Bruce with one hand while pinning Steve to the ground in the other hand. They yelled at each other and now the entire drop-in of youth were out on the deck watching the whole thing. The fight was over, but I was still trying to keep them from throwing one last kick or punch. As I struggled to keep them away from each other I was on one knee and bent over with arms stretched out as far as I could on either side of me. It was the first time I took note of Kent who had been pretty close to the fight and now was looking down at me. There was nothing to stop him from kicking my head (now at waist level). I will never forget his face. He had a pretty angry look through some glossy eyes and there was a smell of alcohol on him.

Kent was a pretty quiet guy who had tagged along with Bruce that night. As a good friend, he wanted his friend to win the fight that night. Kent had come from a separated family where there was also misuse of drugs and alcohol. Kent’s older sister was a regular at the Switch Yard, with a fiery attitude that showed some insight into what home life was like.

Facing Kent at that point in the dirt, I was suddenly keenly interested in who he was, purely out of my own self preservation. In those situations I always felt everything was going to go wrong. When violence starts, it seems to take off more in a group situation. Luckily for me, Kent just glared at me.

I managed to keep Steve and Bruce separated and told them they were barred for a month from the drop-in. I went inside to calm my nerves and to give the appearance that I still had control. A few months after this occurrence, I moved from Bancroft to Mississauga. I thought for sure that would be the end of knowing any of those particular guys.

In 2008, I received a call from Bancroft. It was the Burkes (my second family growing up). They asked for a favour. They told me about a guy from Bancroft who was in a correctional centre in Brampton, and asked if I would visit him. The young man was dealing with addictions and was in counseling. They thought that I may have known him from the Switch Yard days as a youth. They came to know this guy through nothing short of Divine intervention.

A few years back they received a call informing them that their Jewelry store had been broken into. Nothing too valuable had been taken since they lock most of it up at night, but as you can imagine, it was still upsetting to be forced to shut down for a  couple of days in order to fix broken glass and whatever else was damaged. The Police got a couple of good finger prints but couldn’t find the suspect.  A few months later, the Burkes were driving home in the winter on the snowy road to their house. An oncoming car swerved and hit them. Stunned, some black eyes and scrapes but not hurt seriously they sat as a young man ran up to their car to ask if they were alright. He then ran to call the ambulance. They didn’t see him again but later found out by the Police that the very same guy who hit them was the young man who had robbed them.

Apparently when he called in and did not return to the scene, it gave the Police suspicion to who this was. They did some investigation and when they found out it was the young man they caught him and he went to jail. His name was ---Kent. Kent later found out that the people he hit were the same people he robbed----what Divine luck!

Other then petty crimes, Kent had been playing around with drugs as well. His lifestyle caught up with him numerous times as he found himself on gurneys in ambulances with his heart actually stopping. He ended up in jail and rehab a couple of times to make a change, but it didn’t seem to stick. He had been ostracized by people in town even when he tried to clean himself up. He remembered even going to a church service where he felt glaring eyes on him. In a small town like Bancroft, everyone knows your business. Kent became pretty skeptical of most people, especially “church folk” until something unusual happened.

Kent picked up a job doing contract work with a friend. Kent was great with his hands and he was definitely a great worker. His boss and him arrived on a new job site to do some flooring. They sat in the truck together in front of a beautiful house on a lake as they talked about the job. Kent looking at the house asked “Who’s house is this?” His boss looked at his sheet and said “Oh, this is the Burkes house. They own a Jewelry store in town.” Kent froze. He didn’t want to go into the house. It may have been out of shame or pride, but also didn’t want to ruin his boss’s credibility with these people. He told his boss he couldn’t do the job.  His boss was upset and wanted to get the job done. He went into the house.

He came out a few minutes later with a woman (Lucille Burke).From her view:

 “ the contractor that layed our kitchen floor said to me. Can I talk to you a min. I said sure He said "you know the guy that robbed your store" I said yah, he said "well he works for me and he is out in the truck and scared skinny to come in"  so I went outside and he was standing at the step and I said to Kent “so you are afraid to come in?” He hung his head and said " I went to jail, I did my time and I'm sorry" I simply said to him well that’s enough for me you are quite welcome to come in and do your job.”

 

Kent did the job. Lucille and Dave Burke even invited him to supper at one point. Kent still was blown away by this family who seemed to instantly embrace him even knowing what he had done to them. Forgiveness… that was different. Too many times God had been shown to Kent as untouchable, a judge, and too angry to want or love Kent.

Their connection didn’t stop there. They talked on the phone, met with each other several times. Dave even took him to their hunting camp where they hung out together. During that time Kent got to see what was really going on behind the mystery of these two –Jesus. They got to explain their experience and view of the life that Jesus gives through his sacrifice and love. Kent wasn’t sure what to think about it all except he felt a deep longing inside him grow. These interactions were a key building block for Kent’s spiritual journey. It wasn’t all easy for Kent though. There were still things God needed to work out in his life.

He got himself into more trouble once again and this time it almost cost him his life. It may have been the culmination of drug and alcohol use or the drama of his life at that time, but Kent ended up in a pool of blood in the forest from a three wheeler accident- with no heart beat.  He had gotten himself intoxicated, stole his dad’s truck and crashed it. He was so mad that he went to a nearby house, stole the three wheeler and drove down a dirt road without a helmet as fast as the machine would go. He lost control and he was hurled into the forest where they found his shoes flung, clothes in the trees up 20ft and Kent with a badly smashed up head. The ambulance used the paddles and rushed him off by helicopter to save his life.

He healed over time physically, but his soul needed more attention and he knew it. It’s funny how God can clearly show Himself in very broken moments. Kent was feeling some pretty significant insights to Who this God was. You have a lot of time to think in a hospital and he had even more time to think in jail. After he got out of jail, he knew this couldn’t continue anymore, so in court he asked to go to rehab again and the judge approved it and he was sent to Brampton on a six month program. He went to get himself cleaned up. This time though he had the Burkes praying for him and in contact with him as friends (even later told me that they have been like family to him).

That is when I got the call to visit Kent by the Burkes. They told me he was on a good page and possibly even searching spiritually. Lucille said “he was reading his Bible and praying and the most happy he had ever been, but I would say you know Kent that is not enough you need to except Jesus Christ personally into your life. He said but I’m skeptical I said GOOD GOD IS UP TO ANY ANSWER YOU HAVE A QUESTION TO!”

 

 In our church community we had just been intentionally seeking the ‘welfare of the city’ (Jer. 29) with an idea called the Brampton Experiment. The idea was to ‘be’ in our community and respond to wherever Jesus was revealing Himself. So this was my challenge-to go to the jails. I agreed to go and arrive in March 08 on a Tuesday.

I didn’t remember who Kent was from my past, until he walked down the hall in the orange shirt and gray pants provided by the jail as his only clothes. As soon as I saw his face, I flashed back to the night on my knees in the dirt where the angry 16 year old glared at me for holding his friend Bruce and kicking him out of the drop-in. That face was gone and now a very kind smile was in its place. We got caught up with his life journey and I told him I had come to support him and even talk about his spiritual search. He was ready. This began many talks about God and Jesus.

During Kent’s time there, he got into AA and NA where there is a reference to a higher power. That higher power for Kent could only be the One who showed such forgiveness in the Burkes.  I was amazed with God’s work in Kent and especially the deep seeking heart he had. I began meeting weekly with Kent in order to have an ongoing dialogue about Jesus and his life plans. I was really enjoying seeing Jesus’ heart and character working in and through Kent.  This once quiet, angry guy was now very talkative, smiling and had great wisdom in his words and understanding. It didn’t take long to see that Jesus had already been transforming him in significant ways. After a few weeks of meeting and some discussion to who Jesus was, I asked a few questions to Kent about his desire to follow Jesus. He really felt hesitant to make a big commitment because he felt he might fail. I didn’t push it, but the next week he was totally fine with following Jesus. In fact he realized he had made the decision to follow Jesus with his heart long before he said it with his mouth. This very sensitive and tender heart was such an encouragement to me. The work of Christ was so evident in him. Leadership was also coming out.

Kent began to lead the AA meetings with 60-80 guys. He also led a bible study with a couple of others, and even began befriending a self proclaimed ‘Satanist’ who would often taunt his new commitment to Jesus. He had many good conversations with him.

I am writing this as Kent is to be released in a months’ time. He is going to go to school (finish high school and go to bible school), and figure out what it means to plug back into life as Jesus intends him to.  I have been impacted by the fact that as soon as Kent began to follow Jesus he had an instant ministry. Kent understands that following Jesus means listening and responding to His voice. He has says that this is the most happiest he has ever been in his life. Sometimes I complain about all of my issues in life, but then here is Kent as an example to me - in jail, walking into uncertainty and filled with Joy. 

I am reminded of the ‘madman’ who was filled with a riot of demons inside Him (Mark 5:1-20). He met Jesus and was released from that. His instant reaction was to follow Jesus, but Jesus did something profound and risky—He commissioned him immediately with a ministry to his town “Go back to your town and share what I have done for you” –paraphrase (Mark 5:19). Too many times we say, “I need to get more training or experience before I can share God’s work and Kingdom. I need to have my doctrine right and all the right biblical answers.” Kent’s immediate reaction was to serve. He doesn’t know all the answers but his deep thirst for Jesus and the testimony of Jesus transforming his life will be the living gospel people need to hear.