a l i v e & a w a k e

Separation

“as a person thinks in his heart, so it is.”

As we continue this series of the many facets of a killer, we come to the most profound and subtle of this force (in my opinion). There are many indications that we as a society, value and pursue being separate from others. Detached from the “relationship” internally which is spiritual and ultimately with God (Genesis –garden) we practice detachment from others in an outward fashion. This is what the Proverb means, our heart (internally) feels it is rejected so we can only give what we own so we give separation. Grieving expert Bill Bates says that ‘humanities greatest problem is that we perceive we are separate”. I believe this and we see it in how so many will knowingly/unknowingly push others away to make it true.  The gods of today show us this value, “the richer I become, the more separate I want be.” In this case money, power, fame are only accelerates to this deep value.

 Today we see people who are powerful, famous and wealthy choosing to live away from others: Homes -mostly guarded and protected, walking -with body guards and keeping people at a distance, travelling—in their own private or exclusive ways, communicating –from private lines. Now I want to make it clear—there are sometimes really good reasons why these measures have been taken, however it can send a message of ‘the more you have, this type of life is what we need to seek out’. So people who grow in wealth will move from the townhouse/semi to a detached home or home with property. Even further if we could ideally live better, it would be so that we have our own view without others around (again nothing wrong with that). Is it fair to say that if we all got out wishes, we would have to live on a much bigger planet, with amazing homes and quite alone.

The highest form of punishment in our country Canada is solitary confinement. Yet we seem to be pursuing the same outcome in the ‘free’ world with directed energy, effort and resources to accomplish it.

Already people choose to have less and less interaction with others. Take a test:

What do you think people prefer, automated teller or a person?

Do people prefer drive through or going into the building?

Do people prefer to ride the elevator alone or with others?

When driving, do people prefer to make eye contact and acknowledge the people in the car, or just see the object of the car and avoid eye contact?

Do people like sharing a toothbrush or……OK I’m going too far.

But you can see enough that we have a preferred default switch in us that will choose the path of less contact in general. Why is this when deep down we are geared to feel like we belong, connect and interact with others?

So what kind of ‘compassion’ is derived from this value? When we do want to help people, it maybe lacks compassion (suffers with) and is more in the helpful category. Compassion though is an attribute of God and is the source of life. Being helpful can look godly yet lack in so many ways.  When we value separation as a community, we may see a different form of compassion (less like God).

For instance separation compassion may look more like:

-writing a check to someone in need and not care about the people all around you in everyday life (neighbours, grocery store, driving, walking)

-going into a soup kitchen to serve food to people rather than intending first to be with people in relationship as they are fed.

Just a story to go with this. 

A friend of mine Greg Paul runs a downtown ministry/church called Sanctuary, for inner-city people with many high visible needs. He tells a story of a ‘high powered’ banker who heard of the great things going on and decides to come help out in the food program. As he enters and meets Greg, he is taking off his ‘high powered’ jacket and rolling up his ‘high powered’ sleeves to go serve food out of the kitchen to the many people waiting for their meal (sometimes the only one they get). Greg stops him and says “You won’t be in the kitchen today (reserved for people who work their way up to that). Go and grab a plate and eat with the community.”

This wasn’t comfortable for the man. He said “I can’t eat someone’s food, I came to help, not take”.  Greg’s reply was something like “what you will give to help today will be relationship. When was the last time a homeless person got the chance to sit and eat with a high powered banker? Do you know how many doors, people and barriers they would have to go through before they’d even see you? What you give today is community with people who are excluded-probably their greatest need.”