Since written, Dad passed away 6:20am Dec 2.

The man happens to be my father, my father of 34 yrs. He was diagnosed with a terminal cancer in his brain stem and we are not sure how long this 'terminal' has. He has been sick for quite sometime and now we know what is happening. This last few months have been watching, sitting, waiting and wondering. We’ve had time to talk, and in times like this it seems we listen a little more. Some of the thoughts coming from dad has been especially encouraging and challenging. Here are a few:
-one of the words that kept repeating during the times when he was getting worse in September was ‘unable’ (to eat as well, to walk as well, talk as well, etc). This was at first pretty hard to dad as one who enjoys doing little things for others. We would try to keep engaging dad at his strongest point, his mind with books, quotes and our struggles. In one of those conversations we talked about the church and it’s overall failings in realizing the great mission God has called us in. During that time dad said “Wow, this is really challenging” and with tears and broken voice he further added “I am ABLE to BE church right here in this hospital!” It is not the typical understanding of effective church, but I see it doesn’t mean ‘unable means do nothing’.

The picture for me was profound and somewhat prophetic. Here is a broken man who understands that it is the working of Christ in and through him that makes a difference wherever He is. I would say he was a living testimony in that bed just being funny (as much as dad can), helpful, and still thinking of us and others needs and concerns.
The prophetic part for me was almost a picture of where the church is at, broken, incapacitated to some degree, yet is slowly realizing and desiring to BE the living Christ on this earth. We have retreated so far and we have left all the missional work to a very few people in other countries and a spiritual atrophy has set in. I was challenged again to see myself as the living Christ on my street, in my city and not just what happens on a Sunday morning when I stand up in front of a crowd. I am able and
-In the last week or so I have felt so helpless and useless to the condition of my dad and to the aid of my mom. We have been looking to little things like call, pass on messages and drive her around. For dad though, it is hours of sitting with a man who can no longer interact (ability and energy).
I am a guy who really likes to feel proficient and significant especially to people around me. I really felt with dad that I could not do any of my ‘great’ theological thoughts, physical help with a task, or even sitting and making a good meal where we drink great wine and laugh. This gets quite hard once you know you show up to just BE. Deep down I am uncomfortable with that. So as I came to ‘minister to my dad’, Christ ministered to me.
It was dad who gave me a place to be just my unadorned, vulnerable (can’t hide behind abilities), and authentic self. I was accepted and loved. I watched him in his few moments smile, say hi and just kept reassuring me I was ok. He also modeled what it meant to be the same vulnerable man to the nurses, to the visitors and friends. Such dependence looks so weak and distasteful in our society of independence and efficiency. But here dad was letting people care for him, and tell him what he needs to do. He embraced that. It’s another picture of the type of reliance Jesus asks for in us.
We are to depend on Jesus that way. Only when we can let ourselves be truly authentic to God and others, do we find the harmony, serenity and the solid foundation of love.

-One analogy that dad was so hit by in his fight was a story about an experiment of two mice (John Maxwell’s relationship 101). The experiment was to put two different mice in bucket of water that would drown them. The buckets were covered with a lid. One had a pin prick hole in the lid and the other total darkness. The mouse in darkness swam for about 4 mins and then drowned. The mouse with the pin prick hole swam and looked up to the little bit of light that filtered through into the bucket and finally died after 39 hours. That hope of a little light gave so much to live for and fight. Dad was struck by this in his situation.
It was not only hope for him to see the little bit of light was told he had since being diagnosed with terminal cancer (very rare to survive, but possible). The little light analogy brings him optimism, a positive outlook and the fight is not for survival of the body as much as His living days with family and friends.


I am the dying man as well. I am dying to the concept of ‘unable means do nothing’. I am dying to preserving myself and having my identity wrapped up in my significance a little more. I am dying to the negativity that makes my drown in 4 minutes when situations come up. In this dying, it like a seed that falls on the ground and dies so that the life inside can come out. Dying has never been so hard but yet felt so good.

I had a great experience recently with my new Sikh friend Sukhminder. He gave me a tour of a Sikh temple. This has been the page I’m on right now as I take on the role of been a pastor in Brampton which has a large growing number of Sikh people. I was definitely out of my element, but Sukhminder assured me that I was ok to go. I took Liv with me (since she was really the one who introduced me to Sukhminder).

 

We went to a fairly large facility in Brampton that has two huge kitchens and four different worship areas. It was Sunday so there were many people there in those rooms. As we came to a dining area, I was surprised by the only thing set up was long carpets for sitting and people waiting to be served. Many workers were there in the group who served the food, swept the floor and cleaned and cooked in the kitchen –all volunteer! I ate some Indian food with Sukhminder who assured me it was ok to let Liv wander during this time. This was hard from me because becoming a new dad I have been aware that watching where she goes and who she interacts with is pretty important. In this place, Sukhminder assured me that letting her go was ok, so I watched---very closely but I let her go (incase Rebecca reads this). So I watched her walk into the crowd of seated diners.

She wandered through the whole crowd looking for everything that appeals to a 14 month year old girl. As I nervously squirmed trying to hold a discussion about Sikhism and being a Christ follower with Sukhminder, Liv just ran around meeting and being received and parented by every family seated. The community aspect that accepted children was beautiful to watch because all the children ran this way and were allowed to be themselves and all parents were the parents of my child. There was peace and freedom in this. We tried some great tasting Indian food which was given to us for free and I had some discussion with Sukhminder about all the ways we agree on a life abundant.

For instance I found out the meaning of the most common symbol that is on all the buildings (see diagram). It is mostly about the word of God that has similar principles to the biblical view that has a two edged sword (Heb 4:12).

My learnings continue but I felt like I saw the face of Christ in so many ways –the serving of food, the community care of Liv, the teaching about life, and the search for true spirituality. I still continue to talk about the living Jesus and that has brought deeper conversations with Sukhminder.  He believes that for me to see the living Christ, I need to have a pure heart –which has encouraged me. It is very much a confirmation with scripture that says ‘you are the righteous’ (1 Cor 1:30).

This journey continues and I will look to see where God is working and more about what He is teaching me through this beautiful community.

-joe sept 06

Teaching is a great job! It is a lot of work to become a good one and a high calling to be the kind of teacher our students need. Here is a quote that captures this thought perfectly:

LIFE IS AMAZING, AND A TEACHER BETTER BE PREPARED TO BE A MEDIUM FOR THAT AMAZEMENT.

- Edward Blishen -

Jon 

I know this is an old picture, but it will serve the purpose.

Looking at my boy Rhys growing up is fun. I see so much potential and so much life. Sometimes as a father you wonder what the future holds, and while it is senseless to try to guess, I found this quote that helps me to keep focus, and perspective. For all you people out there who are fathers, or who work with boys, here it is:

IT IS EASIER TO BUILD STRONG BOYS, THAN TO REPAIR BROKEN MEN.

The following is another entry by our guest blogger, and my dad, Serge Tenthorey. Enjoy.

In The Message we read in Psalm 139

 

“.. All the stages of my life were spread out before you.  The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.”

 

Psalm 118:24   “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

 

Who can call a day boring, or mundane when God has planned it special for us?

 

Rather than a day where every moment, every action, every path is controlled, I believe God has planned every day as a day of special opportunities for us.

 

Opportunities to serve; opportunities to grow and develop; opportunities to develop our strengths; opportunities to test our wings; opportunities to fail - and learn from that failure; opportunities to taste life as Jesus did; opportunities to sorrow - to pass through the fires and come out purged, tempered and strengthened for the days and tasks ahead; opportunities to work with God in furthering His purposes; and opportunities to “Be still and know the I am God”

 

Lord open our expectations and heart’s eyes to these opportunities.   Let us truly live life the fullest today.

 

The Starfish Story

adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley
1907 - 1977

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

It was great to see another part of the world. Although Central America isn't halfway around the globe, it was enough to leave behind some of the trappings and culture of North America and see life through someone else's eyes.

One of the things we are trying to do in the Nepean Leadership Development Course is to form a benevolent and responsible worldview in our students. What this means specifically is:

1. World Without Borders - we have to learn to see people from other nations as essentially an extension of us. We must live in a borderless world, where National borders, languages, cultural differences are things to be explored, appreciated, and shared.

2. When One Part Hurts, We All Hurt - events like the Tsunami in Malasia or the Hurricanes in the Carribbean, or the war torn countries in Africa and the Middle East present themselves as opportunities to care for the global family in any way we can.

3. I Can Help - when we see a need, the temptation is to shift the responsibility to someone else; whether it's a humanitarian organization or charity, or to some "super-government". When we begin to realize that we can do something to help, we begin to take responsibility as a fellow human being.

4. Small Things With Great Love - as said by Mother Teresa, "Don't attempt to do great things. Instead do small things with great love". Whatever you can do, don't worry about how magnificent or large-scale it is - just do it as if it was the greatest thing.

Honduras opened my eyes to see not only the power of our dollar, but the power of a heart that is willing to care and get close enough to help. Sometimes you don't have to go around the world to begin to be helpful.  The true test of this "principle" will be how well I enact it while I am here at home.

Jon 

What's a loonie worth these days? In the ever-fluctuating economic market, some days a little, and some days a little more. Although we would never see our dollar as any spectacular, a group of Ottawa students and a couple of us teachers saw it as a very powerful thing indeed.

9 excited students from Nepean High School and a couple of even more excited teachers flew out of Ottawa International Airport on a quest to save the world; or at least to make a little dent in the small country of Honduras (for those who need a geography refresher, that's Central America). Armed with a few sports and medical supplies, $700.00 CDN and a whole lot of teenage-energy we landed in San Pedro Sula not sure of what we would encounter.

Needless to say, there was a slight culture shock as we stepped out of the airport to 85 degree weather and lush tropical carpet. Honduras is a spectacular country, whose latest claim to fame unfortunately dates back to Hurricanes Mitch and Andrew. The people are simple (in lifestyle), friendly, hard working and extremely resourceful. And many are poor.

In our first few days we spent a bit of time in a tour bus travelling to our orientation camp in the "cloud rainforests" and to the community in which we would spend a week. It was on the road we were able to observe the living conditions of the average Honduran. You would drive along watching banana and coconut trees whipping by, and then, somewhere in the shadows of these large trees, a small, thrown-together building of concrete blocks, wood chunks and pieces of scrap metal, with the tell-tale clothes line weighed down by the drying "rags" they would use as clothes.

We were all touched by what we saw and began to realize just how fortunate we are living in a great country like Canada (I think many of us knew this already, but sometimes it takes a wake-up call to remind us). The question was asked, "How much does it cost for a family to buy the most simplest of homes?" Our guides informed us that for a family to own a piece of property and a home with concrete walls and a sheet metal roof, it costs about $1000.00 CDN. You could smell smoke burning as people fervently calculated how many house we could of bought if we donated the money it took us to get there (about 26). I think I took a loonie out of my pocket and began to admire its power.

When we arrived in Taulabe (the community where we spent our time helping a local school), we witnessed first hand the life of a Honduran. The homes we stayed in were simple but complete. They had electricity and running water (but don't drink the water!) and were furnished much like ours (we were definately with the middle-upper class citizens!). However the community had its share of poor sections, and no one could escape the sound of the 4 O'clock wake up call by their roosters (one of the ways they provided for themselves). There were constant reminders everywhere of our wealth that we don't ever recognize (how was your hot shower this morning?). Most of our students had more spending money on them than families would earn in a month. In a country so impoverished, where do you begin to help? Where would we invest our $700.00?

We soon found our answer. On about day 4 of our time in Taulabe we were given a tour of a small Social Health Clinc along the main street. The clinic was a beacon of hope and life in the community, as well as to the 40 surrounding communities it served. Specifically geared to pregnant women and their babies, it was a hub of activity as line ups would form early in the morning and last most of the day. In Honduras (we were told), the death rate of infants at birth is 45% and of birthing mothers - 30%. That means almost half of the children born never make it home, and for 1/3 of the girls and women, pregnancy is a death wish. But because this clinic existed EVERY baby survived and EVERY mother was able to go home! 100% success! We sat in awe listening to this information with a sudden and deep respect for the builing we were in. And we knew instantly where our money would go.

I am glad to report that all of the money we brought with us bought life-saving machinery that was deparately lacking. On top of that, when the students realized that the clinic's wish list would cost more that $700.00, they were eager to donate their own money to guarantee that everything was purchased. It was a great testimony to their generousity and compassion. I am extremely proud of how they responded.

So what am I saying? Basically as I Canadian I am rich. Maybe not in Norway or Switzerland or the UK, but in wonderful countries like Honduras, I am a millionaire; and because of that fact I feel the weight of a global responsibility to do what I can to help. Taulabe was the start for us at Nepean High School and for me personally, but more important it permantly opened my eyes to see that there are opportunities everywhere, and that our loonie is powerful.

Jon

"God is not a sedative that keeps you calm and under control by dulling your senses. He does quite the opposite. He awakens your spirit to be truly alive." Erwin McManus 

I am a follower of Jesus, the Messiah. I am becoming more and more hesitant to use the word Christian, not because I don't understand the original meaning of the word, but because most other people don't.

It has become synonymous with boring, fundamentalism, irrelevance, hypocracy and uselessness. Many people view following Christ a selling of one's life to a creed that gives them a list of do's and don't's.

I like this quote, because it captures my thoughts exactly. I found that when I met Jesus (the real Jesus - not some institutionalized version found in a church building) my life changed. Aside from my hyper tendencies, I found an internal well of life that became the new driving force in my life. Suddenly, every fibre of my being was invigorated by energy, meaning and an optimism that far surpassed any of the modern-day positive thinking programs. I just found myself to be such a happy person.

It's sad to think that people are turned off finding a life-giving spiritual connection to their Creator because of  the institutionization of the Church. If you have found yourself dulled by traditions and religiosity, it's time you personally met the Jesus I know. You find him, you will find life.

Jon 

I've always wondered how long Darth Vader wanted to take off his mask. Only at the very end, when it is too late, Vader's last wish is to see his son through his own eyes, AND to be seen for who he really is - Anakin Skywalker. Had he lived longer, it could have been the most pivotal and important part of his life. Why did he wait? Perhaps he was embarassed of his deteriated body. Maybe he feared rejection. Or perhaps he had grown so accustom to his outer shell, he forgot who he was.

It saddens me to think there were moments, perhaps many of them where he wished he could have revealed his true self. How his life would have been different!

Although I am no Vader, I have had to come to similar terms. There is a part of me that wants to try to only convey a person of competence, ability, talent; qualities worthy of honour. No personal weaknesses. No limitations. Definitely no character flaws. This way seems safe and secure, because you don't have to face the accompanying criticism and judgment of others.

But this way is anything but safe or secure. Hidden in the shadow of the mask, a weakness can grow freely, unchecked; and in this way it can fester like a botched treatment of a deep wound. Soon, instead of a "slight embarassment" you are dealing with a fully developed monster under your bed. Once it becomes rooted, it begins to control you, lying to you to never reveal it to others. It threatens to destroy your reputation, or your position. So in your insecurity, you continue to provide sanctuary, not realizing that it soon will outgrow its hideout and become visible for all to see. That is when those closest to you become victims, the tabloids pick up on it, and everything you were trying to stop from happening, happen anyways.

Time and again this is the ploy of an enemy. Whether it is a major weakness, or worse, a fantastic strength, all the forces against you want to keep it behind a mask. If you never reallze who you really are, you will never become who you were meant to be.

I am learning that is the way of the coward. It is the fearful that become the prey. They are afraid of what others think. They are afraid of their own potential. They are afraid of taking a liberating risk. They are afraid that if they give up an impression, they will not have the integrity to follow.

Perfect love casts out fear. When you are loved totally and unashamedly, you are free to not fear. My personal story hinges on the moment I realized that I was loved completely; for all the talents, and weaknesses, strengths and personal flaws. In my most uttermost exposed state, I found Someone who took me as I was and embraced it all. It was that moment that I was free to let go of the insecurity and shame, and to drop the mask.

The older you get, the more you will understand the wisdom found in these words (as I have and continue to):

When you see God for who He really is, you will begin to understand who you are, and who you were always meant to be.

Try as you might, you will not be able to escape the fact that there is a God; and not only is He God, but He is a Personal Being who made you and has a purpose for you. As I found out, He loves me in a way that makes any form of human love pale in comparison. It is a love that allows you to face up to the real you, and begin to see great changes in life. It is the love that frees you to take off the mask.

Jon